The Rat Race

Like sand through the hour glass.... these are the days of my life.

Time seems to be in fast forward and I'm getting closer and closer to the end of my stay here. I still have over 5 months, but I know it'll be here sooner than I'm prepared. Somehow, the older the get, the more unsure I am of my decisions. The ones I've made, and the ones I have yet to consider.

I'm pretty happy with how my life has turned out since graduation, but I spend hours a day worrying that I won't live up to the chaotic supreme dream that is my ideal self. I've got big plans for myself, and it's not going to be easy. I wish I could just go to GNC and buy a powder strawberry shake form of Bad Ass-ness. But it's never that easy.

Truth is, my career choice and my inner voice don't exactly see eye to eye. I feel like an artist at heart, but as my palm reading revealed last week, it's a lot of hard work and money can be short. Also my life line is giant, so I could quite possibly be the bionic woman. Or I could go the route of a TV exec, like I studied for, and sell people's souls for a designer lifestyle. Ick. What's a girl to do?

My dream is to be a published writer. I want to write books: novels, essays, shorts. This blog is horrific in terms of my writing style so don't judge me on this. But I think I have something, and I think it's good, and I'm actually writing it. When I get back to the US, I'll be looking for publishing jobs and hopefully my first book will be finished.

In the mean time, I'll be over here, acquiring stories and creating even more seemingly impossible expectations to live up to.

Things to Accomplish In 2010
1. dear cassie- you know if you write a list you'll be writing things down into existence and then bringing on bouts of premature grays and wrinkles. so don't make a list, no matter how tantalizing.