I had been warned that upon returning home, I might feel, simply put, underwhelmed. I might miss the food, or the cheap drinks, or the ridiculously easy to navigate subway. I'm not sure if I feel that way just yet, but I do have to say that I'm feeling quite the opposite of underwhelmed.
The whole time I've been gone I've been busy squeezing every ounce of cultural experience out of my stay in Korea. What I forgot to keep in mind is that no matter who you are or where you go, life goes on without you. Within 24 hours of stepping foot on US soil, I found out 3 of my friends are currently pregnant, a baker's dozen are getting married, and everyone and their mother has bought a home.
I feel completely overwhelmed. I feel like every hour I could burst into tears. I just wish people could stop growing up for just 10 minutes so I can catch my breath. Don't get me wrong I am incredibly happy for everyone and excited about the lives ahead of them, I'm just curious why I don't feel any of those same things.
I've already been told that I'll probably be different, and people can see me being satisfied with life by myself. Is that an insult? Am I really going to be a crazy cat lady? Because I was just joking about that, it's not really a good look for me.
I feel somehow left behind from this whole "movement". I never know what I'm going to do next or where I'll be, even for a week. I always felt I was too young to be making any sort of complicated decisions. Now it seems there is this tremendous pressure to be serious and get my life sorted out. I need long term goals...I need to say the word "finances" a lot...I need to take multivitamins.
I'm not cut out for this.
Upon returning home, I went straight to Valparaiso, Indiana...my home town. During my time in Korea, my childhood house that I grew up in, was sold. So coming back was ...well...uncomfortable. I'm still not really able to cope with losing the home that shaped me.
I got to see all my family, attend my sister's wedding reception, and enjoy some home cooked food. My family was none too happy that I became a vegetarian, considering they planned a bbq for my welcome-back party. Woops.
The lack of culture shock in Indiana was made up for when I went back to my second home, Chicago. The melting pot that's been home to my college years and young professional life brought me back to an American reality. It seems no matter how hard I try, I can't fight the butterflies I feel everytime I come up from the subway stairs and step into the rush of people, music, and high hopes.
I'm constantly finding something I've forgotten with my time overseas. PayDay candybars, anything that cooks in an oven, electrical prongs, single family homes, chipotle, real mexican food, TARGET! The list goes on...
I wanted to wait a good amount of time before posting my last update, simply because I didn't want to write something based off my first reaction. Now, I miss Korea. I miss the people, as crazy as they may have seemed. I miss my students tremendously. I am sending them a care package soon. I miss the food, I miss the music, I miss the shopping. I came back to America and sadly I felt that we could learn A LOT from that tiny little country I called home for the year.
I've been interviewing and getting prepared to start the next chapter of my life. This experience on my resume actually has given me a leg up over other applicants. I'm living in the city and for the first time, viewing it with adventurous and open eyes.
I encourage anyone that's thinking about taking the trip to seriously, DO IT. This experience has forever changed the way I see the world, and the way I see myself. It's not all going to be easy, but it will all make sense when it's over. Thanks for all the kind comments and followers. Stay tuned for my next blog, to be posted soon.
-C
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